The 'phone rang on Friday. This is a genuine record of the initial exchange.
'Phone: Ring. Ring.
Caller: Hello. Can I speak to Alan, please.
Me: I'm afraid you've got the wrong number. There's no Alan here.
Caller: Oh. Well, can you know what his number is, then?
They were not joking!
By the way, Alan. If you are reading this, someone called on Friday. Sorry, they didn't leave a message – just me bemused.